About Me

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Did Socrates say "Know Thyself", or was he misunderstood, as all are. Show Thyself is all we can do. The knowing is unknowable.  

I am filled with joy.  It can't be helped.  

Became a Farmer, Builder, Musician, Tank Commander, Librarian, Lawyer and Minister. I have failed at many things. And now retired.  Filled, just filled, with Joy. 

Saturday, June 04, 2016

Your Calling is calling. Sound the (pssst) Trumpets!

At this point in your existential journey, have you been "called"?  
What summoned you? 

What vision do you have of a purpose or mission in the world?  
Are you envisioning?     

Statement of Calling

The Journey.

As child of missionaries who traveled the globe, grew up with mixed Christian and non-Christian challenges.  Saw suffering, fear, rape[TK1] , murder, hunger, and many forms of “thirst[TK2] ”.  In our village, and on a global scale.

Faith:  Never asked, as in Book of Job: “Why God permits Righteous Ones to suffer?”  Never want to increase the suffering; not able to stop it.  Never feel lost—never feel at home, except everywhere, in the Journey.   Never feel Tempted. Not even Tempted to Exist[TK3]  -- leave that up to God to work out.  Never doubt God; many doubts of Men.[TK4] 

Asked my Father and Mother many questions. They did their best, and apologized for preparing me so little for this world. And now, they are passed from it.  Midway, look back, see patterns. Shades of gray outcomes, shape a life.

Career dipped in farming, academia, music, soldiering, and law. 

Many successes and failures – colorful challenging life.  In 2011, my head, handed to me, on platter.  Experience “spirit breakdown[TK5] ”-- euphemism for becoming Eucharist.  [TK6] Had to withdraw.  

Now seeking to rejoin the World in another role. Called not to attend, but to “attend”.  Get tune in right key.  Be good counsel.  Not be voice that “darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge[TK7] ”. Going for Light, staying for company.  Can help. Rebuild Temple.

Cultivating all and the nine fruits of the Spirit.  Clinging particularly to Kindness. (In Nahuatl, no direct word for Kindness which does not connote idiocy or gullibility. Even so, raised by kind people in village). Emulating. Beyond words is words.[TK8]   This won’t be easy. 

The Calling:

In being called, I call.   So much more needed, for counseling, spiritual guidance, and strengthening Churches.  Being called to the Collar is not something one does without building muscles and armamentarium. Need tools for tasks.  Need healthier, better, sharper, gentler perspective.  Kindness.

God’s Mission Statement

After the Fall,
It’s either God’s Call,
or it’s not a Call. 

Disputation abounds.
It is manifestly certain little is certain.
Must build Church. 

All is vanity, and ends.
Not a moment to lose:
Must begin.


Holy Cross is mirror: 

Look in, Son of Man looks back.
Rising vector, plunges down; arms swing open, also hold. 
Just when think  magnetism pulls, repels. 
Alone, looking inside outside, see seeing seer. 
Past and Future join black hole Now. 
Eternity spins, from dreidel[TK10]  to grave.
Hologram[TK11]  inside Holy Ghost.








 [TK1] Rape.  In fact, this exercise/indulgence explores the patter of issues I have had with “authority”, and whether “connected”. Always a surprise to me. But then again, don’t want to frighten them.


 [TK2] “Thirst” is less abstract than “Desire”.


 [TK3] Sidereal reference to Emil Cioran’s work.


 [TK4]  Unknowable – The answer for what you don’t know is God. Great Unknown.

Life everlasting. The Story of God. Simply the story of existence -- In the beginning...
"Life is self-sustaining." --Morgan Freeman

Regardless of what they believe, people are more or less the same, and different.



 [TK5] Not “spiritual”; nothing spiritual about it. Spirit broke, spat on and stomped. But other than that, just fine.


 [TK6] Eucharist – a thanksgiving meal;  cap to convey idea of Sacrificial Body/Blood of a lamb.


 [TK7] Job 38:3, repeated 42:1, twice.


 [TK8] Beyond IS beyond.


 [TK9] Maimonides Guide to the Perplexed, studied by Leo Straus, Persecution and the Style of Writing. For reflection, we have scriptures and symbols, usually with hidden meanings. Why?


 [TK10]Each side of the dreidel bears a letter of the Hebrew alphabet: נ (Nun), ג (Gimel), ה (He), ש (Shin), which together form the acronym for "נס גדול היה שם" (Nes Gadol Hayah Sham – "a great miracle happened there"). The reference is to Existence, which happened here.


 [TK11] Hologram - The intermediate photograph (or photographic record) that contains information for reproducing a three-dimensional image by holography.
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