The letters of Mother Teresa were published in 2007, a decade after her death. In MOTHER TERESA: COME BE MY LIGHT, her confessors published her sometimes desperate, devoted, and canny letters which she specifically requested be destroyed. She writes in detail to her confessors and ecclesiastic superiors of the constant crisis of faith which plagued her mission from beginning to end. Of particular interest is how she turned to the Church Fathers for help, and they gave her NOTHING. She told them from the outset "Where is my Faith--even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness and darkness--my God--how painful is this unknown pain--I have no Faith...". And the Confessor suggested she address himself AS IF talking to Jesus. She responds: "I am told God loves me, and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
Mother Teresa's "superiors" then replied, recommending that she view all of this "as a sign" that she was sharing Jesus' suffering on the cross.
Talk about cold. This recommendation hermetically seals the suffering of Mother Teresa, using doubt to confirm a belief. The true color of this recommendation is also revealed by background information -- the Church was embarassed by Mother Teresa: She was doing what the Fathers talked about doing. The Church never supported her work. The Popes and Cardinals and Bishops all despised her for revealing their own hypocrisy and greed.
"Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love--and now become as the most hated one--the one--You have thrown away as unwanted--unloved. I call, I cling, I want--and there is no One to answer-- no One on Whom I can cling--no, No One--Alone...Where is my Faith--even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness--my god--how painful is this unknown pain--I have no Faith--I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd my heart--& make me suffer untold agony.
ReplyDeleteSo many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them--because of the blasphemy--If there be God--please forgive me--When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven--there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my ver soul. I am told God loves me--and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?" Address to "Jesus" at the suggestion of the Confessor [!], undated.
In the RELIGION column by David Van Biema, published with Raghu Rai photographs in September 3, 2007 TIME: "Although those who witnessed her in prayer spoke of Teresa's serenity, her letters to superiors and confessors often chronicled a belief that her prayers were spurned or empty." Actually, she denied being able to believe there was ANYTHING listening to her prayers. The documents the ABSENCE of God.
ReplyDeleteIn 1979, Mother Teresa, "the saint of the Gutters", received the Nobel Peace Prize. In her acceptance speech she said "It is not enough for us to say, 'I love God, but I do not love my neighbor'." She suggested that "Christ is everywhere...Christ in our hearts, Christ in the poor we meet, Christ in the smile we give and in the smile that we receive." At the same time she gave this message, she was writing to Rev. Michael van der Peet, confirming that she had "let Him have a free hand", but that any Christ in her life was entirely ABSENT--a great silence and emptiness.
ReplyDeleteBEATIFICATION. Mother Teresa's reputation was put on the fast track and in record-breaking post-mortem time, the Church beatified her as the penultimate step towards Canonization. Her correspondence was gathered as part of this process. It will be fascinating to see what the Holy Fathers do with a saint, undeniably, fully abnegated, who documented six decades of utter and cruel silence from God and died without Faith. What persisted was Love and humility, desperate and human.
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